


Here For You

by kylorensith



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 06:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14278752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylorensith/pseuds/kylorensith
Summary: Request from tumblr anon: Please could i request the reader comforting kylo when he’a having a panic attack? Thanks xxtw; panic attack





	Here For You

You wake up and roll onto your side so you’re facing Kylo, who is still sound asleep beside you. A smile crosses your face as you watch the most powerful man in the entire galaxy at his calmest state, asleep next to you. Kylo had been under so much pressure lately it was nice to see him resting and finally relaxed, even if it is just because he’s asleep.

 

You leaned forward and kissed his forehead before snuggling in closer to him. It’s nice having him next to you, you aren’t always lucky enough to wake up next to him. His eyes fluttered open for a moment and smiles at you, then wrapped his arms around you. “Good morning.” You sit up and look him over, he genuinely looks happy.

 

He sits up next to you, and pulls you to sit on his lap, so you’re straddling his thighs. “Good morning Ky.” You wrap your arms around his neck and rest your head in the crook of his neck. You begin to place small kisses on his jaw, then down his neck and onto his bare shoulder. “I love you so much.” You tell him in between kisses. 

 

He lifts your chin so you’re looking at him “I love you too princess.” He presses his lips to yours, and kisses you lovingly. “I’d much rather spend my day here in bed with you, but unfortunately Supreme Leader requested to see me first thing this morning.” You both sighed in defeat, it wasn’t often that you had alone time with Kylo anymore, which wasn’t easy for either of you.

 

“I understand. But when you’re done I’ll be here, I don’t have a shift today.” You beamed, excited for later in the day when you got your boyfriend back in your arms. “I can’t wait.” He kisses your forehead before getting out from underneath you to get ready for the day. 

 

You sulked in bed for a moment, but then decided you’d use the free time today to request some equipment to be replaced  that got destroyed when Kylo left Snokes chambers last time. His meetings with Snoke rarely went well, but you would always be there to comfort Kylo after those meetings.

 

Not much later Kylo emerged from the bathroom to get dressed. “Do you know what he wants to talk about?” You wonder out loud. You notice him visibly tense up but relax before he turns to look at you. “I do know, but I’m hoping I’m wrong. I know Supreme Leader wants to talk about the battle in the woods.” Kylo held his breath, attempting to calm himself before the meeting.

 

“He can’t get too angry can he? With what he had you do just before that battle, it’s unreasonable to expect you to be the best after a deed like that..” You try not to get too worked up, but Snokes expectations of Kylo had always been so unbelievably high that it was hard for Kylo to consistently meet them.

 

“I don’t want to talk about that.” Kylo rushed out, as images of his father flooded his mind. The good, the bad… and the last moment he ever saw his father alive. Tears were threatening to spill from his eyes, so he wiped them away and continued getting dressed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think. I’m sorry.” You blurted, feeling like an idiot for bringing up one of the lowest moments Kylo had ever been in his entire life, if not the lowest. 

 

“Don’t be sorry, I just, I have to have a clear mind when I go meet with Snoke, I can’t think about my fa- Han Solo. I can’t think about him.” You felt your chest tighten as Kylo almost called his father his father. It doesn’t happen often, you’d only heard him talk about Han Solo being his father twice before, and both times were when he was telling you about his childhood. 

 

Kylo kissed you goodbye, and told you roughly what time to expect him back. In the meantime you began work on your holopad, looking at replacement equipment. It wasn’t cheap, but it needed to be done, otherwise General Hux would have a field day attempting to scare Kylo. Obviously that wouldn’t work, but it would only result in more damages to the ship. 

 

Around an hour later you could feel anxiety building up in you, and your chest continually tightening, like someone was saying something that broke your heart. The pain wasn’t yours, that you were sure of, but that’s when it hit you, Kylo is with Snoke, and you knew exactly what they were talking about. You began pacing around your quarters, waiting to hear anything from Kylo, hoping that he would be okay, you knew Kylo wasn’t ready to face the reality of Han Solo being dead, and that’s what him and Snoke were talking about, surely. 

 

Suddenly it’s like lightning struck you, and you fell to the ground in agony. You could feel electricity flowing through your entire body. “What is he doing to him?” Your anger spikes and you can’t help but focus on the fact that now Snoke has physically harmed the man you love, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about that. 

 

Then the sadness took over, he wasn’t with Snoke anymore, he was on his way back to you, finally. You ran from your quarters to the entrance, knowing that if you weren’t the first face Kylo saw when getting off his ship someone would surely lose their job just for looking at him. 

 

You never truly realized how long the distance from your quarters to the entrance was until you ran the entire way. The minute you ran into the room, out of breath, and wide-eyed everyone started to panic knowing something was wrong. You walked to the officer in charge and told him it would be best if he cleared his people from this area until Kylo and I were gone. He easily agreed, and the large room was cleared out in less than two minutes. 

 

You stood waiting for Kylo to arrive, and just over five minutes later his ship entered the bay. You walked to the ramp carefully, not knowing if Kylo had seen you in the bay already or not. When he didn’t leave his ship, you boarded worried if he was okay. Just as you stepped on board he met you, with tears falling down his face, and his breathing uneven. “Kylo.” You whispered as he fell into your arms and broke down. 

 

You sunk to the floor, with him wrapped around you trying to catch his breath. You knew he was trying to get words out, but it was damn near painful for him. “Shhh Ky, don’t talk. Just breathe right now. Just breathe.” You rock him in your lap gently. “Everything will be okay.. Just breathe.” He nodded his head taking in deep breathes, and releasing shakey ones. 

 

Snokes words were flooding Kylos mind,  _ you have too much of your fathers heart in you, young solo. _

 

_ I killed Han Solo, when the moment came I didn’t hesitate. _

 

_ And now look at you. The deed split your spirit to the bone! You were unbalanced, bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber, you  _ **_failed_ ** .

 

_ Alas, you’re no Vader. You’re just a child in a mask. _

 

It was hard for Kylo to admit, but Snoke was right. Killing Han Solo  _ did _ split his spirit. “If I hadn’t just killed him.” He whispers, body still shaking “I could’ve beaten her.” He scolds himself. “I’m a  **_failure_ ** .”

 

“Kylo, you are the farthest thing from a failure, you did exactly as you were told. You killed Han Solo, and then you stayed to fight Rey and FN-2187. Most people couldn’t do that, but  _ you _ did. You are not a failure.” He wrapped his arms around your waist and held himself as close as he could to you. “You are Kylo Ren, leader of the Knights of Ren. You are commander of the First Order. Kylo, you are all of those things, and so much more.” The longer he heard you voice, the easier it was for Kylo to begin breathing properly again.

 

Although he was having a hard time agreeing with you, he nodded his head in your lap, and breathed in your scent, grounding himself slightly. “You are the most amazing man I’ve ever had in my life, Ky. You are always there when I need you, protection or emotionally, I know I am always safe with you. I love you with everything I have, and of all the words I would use to describe you the very last one would be a failure.” 

 

“I love you..” He whispers, finally feeling calm enough to speak without his voice breaking. 

 

“I love you too, Ky.” You tell him before kissing the top of his head.


End file.
